Nothing is more frustrating and discouraging than giving your best effort and not reaching your goal whether it is in sales, sports, relationships, careers, personal best or any endeavor. It’s that feeling that “Something is holding me back and I don’t know what it is.” I always think of a famous golfer on the back 9 on Sunday at the Masters when he choked too many times. Why? The “why” is the same for us all. Understanding what the “why” is, how it operates and how to overcome it is what makes my Professional Counseling/Coaching so unique and successful.

Think back to your younger years. Perhaps you were on a basketball team at age 10 or 12 and warmed the bench more than you played. To protect yourself or your ego you adopted an attitude or a belief that you were not as well endowed physically or weren’t born with the natural skills the other players had. Or maybe you saw a boy you wanted to date talking with “Miss Personality” and asked yourself, “Why would he want me when he could have her? I don’t have her personality or looks.” In both cases, the attitudes and beliefs formed about the Self is that “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve the best”. Multiply that by the hundreds of situations from which you could not escape from birth till now and you can understand how these old attitudes and beliefs still affect your achievement today. The problem is that over the years we forget those painful moments and they slide into the Unconscious Mind where they still control us and we have no access to them anymore.

So, now when you take that sales job of your dreams and call on your prospects with all the right words and actions, those old attitudes and beliefs cry out so that you cannot hear them consciously, “This person doesn’t want to talk to you. You don’t deserve to make this sale. You can’t expect to sell a home valued at one million dollars. You only deserve selling one for $100,000.” Or, you are trying to win the Golf Tournament and your old unconscious voices say, “You must miss this putt because you don’t deserve to win every tournament. You can’t have it all, you know.” Or, you’re trying to make it to the Olympics and that little voice inside makes you doubt that you can make this vault or run faster. It’s all about the  Personality Traits we have developed over our lifetimes that cause us to self-sabotage our thoughts and behaviors.

My counseling style is simple, scientific and straightforward. I administer a Personality Assessment developed over the past 20 years as I observed attitudes and beliefs that served as barriers, preventing my clients from having what they wanted. The One Assessment takes three hours and identifies up to 210 of the most important unconscious personality traits that cause low achievement and 60 that cause high achievement. The questions themselves are designed to allow the person to get a glimpse of the barriers preventing achievement and, in many cases, by simply identifying the traits, the mind modifies or neutralizes the control of those traits. For those traits that are more stubborn, I arrange them in a descending order of priority as to which traits must be addressed for optimum performance. In a one-hour session weekly, I discuss in an encouraging, a non-threatening manner the issues with my client to modify or neutalize the personality barriers that impede achievement while enhancing the traits that improve achievement. There is more.

When I accept a client for individual counseling, I set my intention for him or her to succeed. My goals are normally larger than my client’s and I—in effect—lend him or her my ability to believe that the goals will be reached, no matter how impossible they may seem. I use a method that I developed in 1991 called Re-Imaging that makes reaching “impossible” goals possible. I also do research and rehearse role-plays to speed up the process. One role-play process is called 10 Second Selling and teaches  salespeople how to quickly connect relationally with their clients so as to close quickly. Learn more about 10 Second Selling in a page below in the Index. My clients get a lot more for their money than they expect and that is because I’m working harder than they to cause them to succeed. To learn more or to schedule a free consultation, contact me at

Lane A. Stokes, L.P.C.

Assessments and Sales Counseling

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